Tremr

Parkinson's is changing my brain. There are a lot of gaps in our knowledge of how Parkinson's works but that observation has been established for some time and is kind of taken as read. To try and keep this blog light-hearted I often focus on positive things that are going on in my life. A new thirst for creativity has become a recurring theme. It is really positive and I have enjoyed following the path it has taken me. Recently, I've been pausing a little to look back along that path to try and make sense of some problems that are affecting me at work and work out why things aren't altogether hunky-dory. My work suffered badly immediately after my diagnosis. I read lots of good advice about strategies for coping with PD and I told myself that I wouldn't let it slow me down but there was a part of me that just waved a white flag and gave up. I think I have mentioned before a weird sense of relief that came with the diagnosis. I s...

Fingers slowly turned to stone, The seed already sown, Today, I see it full grown, A companion I’d rather not known, A life popping pills, Just to try and stay still, To witness the thrill, Of a drink unspilled, Drifting, Reality keeps on shifting, Systems slow, gears grind, A shadow clouds my mind, Well, things could be worse, I had the foresight to marry a nurse, I can still code, When my thoughts finally load, I can live with the dreams (so vivid), A pack of wolves, ran off with my tools. Wild? I was livid, Drifting, Reality keeps on shifting, I’ll be back from the deep, Just need a little sleep.

Why do we make art, be it painting, music, film, sculpture, poetry, or whatever? There must be countless reasons. For me, it is about trying to capture something beautiful or otherwise noteworthy that I’ve experienced or maybe dreamt. The most basic aim is to create something that triggers a memory of the ephemera that caught my attention. Better than that would be to fashion a thing that communicates the passion that inspired me to those close to me. If I’ve done a really good job, it may even appeal to those outside my circle. That would be nice but it is, for me, a smaller concern. The thought of putting a smile on the face of one you love is appealing. It’s why we give presents on birthdays and at Christmas. It is part of love. I got a paper round when I was about fourteen. It paid pretty badly but it meant that I had a bit more money at least. Up until then, my Mum had very kindly and judiciously bought Christmas presents on my behalf. That year, I ...

The sixth form college where I studied in the 80s was about a 45 minute coach journey away - perfect for playing one side of a C90 tape. My fellow students started bringing along their music and asking if the bus driver would play it. There was some bad stuff and some good stuff but, in my opinion, nothing as good as the Genesis albums that I had been collecting from second-hand record shops. I made a mixtape representing all ages of Genesis to that point. It was epic. I waited for my moment then asked the bus driver to play it, which he did. I was apprehensive for the whole journey, wondering what people would make of it. When we reached college, a girl approached me from the back of the coach. I remembered some friends had speculated at one point if we were well matched. "Was that your tape?" she asked. "Yes, that's right," I replied. "If you ever try and play that again, I'm going to shove it so far up your...

One of the drugs that is prescribed for me to help manage my Parkinson's disease is Rotigotine. Since the causes of Parkinson's are not well defined, all currently approved Parkinson's medication, including Rotigotine, are limited to treating the symptoms. Rotigotine is a dopamine agonist. Wikipedia describes an agonist as: a chemical that binds to a receptor and activates the receptor to produce a biological response. Rotigotine is supplied as transdermal patches, in other words, sticky patches which you stick to your skin so that the drug may be gradually absorbed. Nicotine patches are another type of transdermal patch that you might be more familiar with. If I have understood it correctly, the Rotigotine molecules have a similar shape to dopamine which means that, once they enter the blood supply, they can bind to the same receptors as dopamine (i.e. the dopamine receptors). I think their shape also means that our brains ...

This year the theme for the Parkinson's Art poetry competition was 'empowerment'. I haven't ever really tried poetry but after reading about it, I found myself thinking about empowerment and imagining how that could be expressed in a poem. My step-dad has discovered an amazing talent for poetry during lockdown and some of the rhythms and ideas of his poems inspired me to give it a try. I also found myself borrowing ideas from an old friend, football team-mate and colleague who writes a birthday verse for each of our group at work every year. Thanks to both those lovely people. The poem itself probably sounds quite angry which is not like either of the people who inspired me. Specifically, I think I was annoyed about a YouTube advert featuring Nigel Farage earnestly asking "have you noticed how everything is becoming more expensive?" One might reply that, in a lot of ways, it is exactly what exper...

Its nearly a year since I started this blog with the grand ambition of making it a shared platform for anyone whose life had been touched by Parkinson's. I was thrilled that several people accepted my invitation to contribute and I'm very grateful to Linda and Tricia who were generous enough to submit their respective stories [ 1 , 2 ] which you can still read today. My host site, Blogger , makes it possible to create a shared blog along those lines but I hadn't realised how complicated that process was. If there is anyone who would still like to contribute, I'd be delighted to help with that but I appreciate why the complexity is off-putting. I was reminded this week of something that Linda wrote on the Facebook group where I met her around the time when all this started. In one thread she said that she believed that Parkinson's had brought out a creative streak in her. My initial response was to question how a degenera...